You met a guy and things between you two are going great. He’s attentive, charming, and also your type.
After days of morning texts, phone calls and dates he simply… start growing distant.Â
But is he doing that? What’s wrong?
Let’s talk about why men pull away to get a little more deeply into their minds.
What does it mean when someone pulls away
Pulling away is a way of saying: “hm, well… maybe we should take things slow”. And this often happens after you guys had that “amazing connection” between you or started to call each other every day or going out together most of the time.
Maybe he is not had bad experiences with love, bad memories of some of his relationships that went on very fast, or even unresolved feelings with his ex.
Why men pulls away after getting close
When a man pulls away after getting close, chances are that there’s something bothering him in his personal life and he needs time to fix that.
Meanwhile, it’s very important that you play cool and don’t act desperate trying to reach out to him often only to come across as needy.
After he gets his problems solved he can go back to where your relationship was and perhaps discuss the issue with you.
The other possibility is that he might have some relationship issues and he’s quite afraid of commitment. If this is the case, you should make sure he can discuss such issues with you, but don’t pressure him because by doing so, it can only pulls him away even further.
What men pull away after sex
During sex, oxytocin increases, which has the effect of lowering testosterone. When a man’s testosterone levels decrease, he feels the need to pull away for a while and may even lose interest until his hormone levels are at their peak again.
He might also wonder what do you want from him or whether or not do you want a serious relationship. Maybe he doesn’t want to confront you and say: “hey, sex was great but I don’t want anything serious”.
People often feel a bond towards the people they had sex with and a lot of people don’t know what to do afterward. That’s quite common.
The best thing, in this case, is to have a serious conversation with him and make your intentions clear.
If you feel him getting weird and distant, send him a quick message saying what you feel. Be blunt, don’t be waiting for him to call or anything like that, have an attitude and I’m sure you are not only gonna surprise him but also surprise yourself too.
21 reasons why he might pull away
People are often different from each other and there’s a number of reasons why a guy pulls away even if they like you and things are going great between you two.
Let’s talk about some of the reasons why they might be pulling away and what you can do about it.
1. He is emotionally unavailable
Emotionally unavailable men usually are not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal. He will often want to keep things casual and “without label” so as to not deal with any of the emotional aspects that go into a long-term relationship.
2. He is quite immature
Maturity doesn’t always come with age. Some people “old enough” to be considered mature can be really childish and still don’t know what they want out of life.
An immature man will always say things and don’t follow through with them which can cause a lot of confusion to a lot of women.
3. He is scared of his feelings
When it comes to dealing with men it can be tough to know exactly what are they thinking of feeling towards you.
He might be considering a long-term relationship with you but he is quite scared about all the commitment that comes within it, so he pulls away until he gets his thoughts sorted.
The best thing to do is to give him space.Â
What is yours is coming to you, and if it doesn’t… better things are coming to your way.
4. He has abandonment issues
We can never know for sure what the other person had been through their lives before they met us.
Some people are deeply wounded by their past relationships – especially with their parents. So they struggle to build a healthy bond with their partner, fearing that they will be rejected or simply mirroring the behavior they once learned with their family.
You have to understand that sometimes it’s not personal. It doesn’t have anything to do with you.
Take a deep breath and talk to them. Only by knowing what’s bothering them you can get a better picture of what to do.
5. He is pulling away because of his unrealistic expectations
When you said that someone is being unrealistic about something – especially in relationships – you mean that they don’t realize the truth about a situation.
Like, for example, they might think that their favorite movie star is the “perfect woman” for him. So he actively seeks that type.
But not only that, he expects you to behave and be perfect.
However, when their expectations are not met, this can lead to tremendous frustrations and can often ruin a relationship.
If you really like this person and you think he has unrealistic expectations about what a relationship should be, I suggest you both seek professional help, in this case.
A psychologist or therapist will do. So that you both can understand the root cause of this idealization.Â
6. There’s a communication gap between you both
Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. And if you are not being able to properly communicate with each other, he might naturally pull away.
Do you know that ineffective communication is one of the earlier steps that causes relationship fallouts?
So, verbalize. Talk to them and tell them what do you need, what do you want, what do you expect.
7. He is not that into you
Something is off and you know it. Women often know when the guy is not into them but they try to convince themselves otherwise.
If he is not interested in the things you do if you are the one who is initiating the conversations all the time and he doesn’t even bother to reply to your texts or reply with the simple: “cool” and that it… girl, I have bad news.
He is simply not into you.
I know that this phrase hurts because you know that you are awesome. But maybe it’s time to bring a little bit of self-love to the table and seek someone who will give you the love and attention that you deserve.