If you are wondering how to get over a breakup, follow this article to learn everything about it and get your life together.
Would you get into a relationship if you knew it wasn’t going to last? Probably not.
Many of us, if given a crystal ball, would take one look at the last days of a love affair and swear off that relationship completely.
There’s no point in falling for someone if it’s going to badly. Or is there?
It goes without saying that breakups are tough. Divorce is even worse.
Breakups can make you physically sick
Do you know that a breakup can literally make you sick?
One study shows 40 people who had been through an unwanted breakup and had their brains scanned while they looked at pictures of their exes and thought about their breakup. As they looked at the photos, the part of the brain associated with physical pain lit up.
With all the emotional turmoil, when a relationship ends you may also experience:
- depression
- anxiety
- insomnia
- skin flare-ups
- aches and pains
- drastic weight loss or gain
Even some studies show a greater incidence of heart attacks in people who’d recently broken up.
Breaking up can literally break your heart. That’s why we have to learn how to manage our emotions and take care of ourselves.
Acknowledge your pain, don’t run from it
Yes I know, it hurts.
And it hurts so bad that you want to run, hide, scream, laugh… all of this together.
Some people try to get into a new relationship soon after the breakup thinking it’s a good idea to have a rebound. To prove their worth and forget about their ex.
The best thing you can do is to feel your pain. Give yourself a time to take everything in and think things through.
It’s not easy, but it’s better than hide from the feeling, hoping it will eventually go away.
Face yourself, don’t hide from it.
Keep your distance from them
This can sound a little harsh for some people but keeping a distance from your ex is the best thing that you can do for your mental health.
This is true because our minds usually go towards the things that we find familiar and the things we are used to do. So go back talking with your ex it’s not a very good idea when you are trying to heal from a breakup.
“ah, but we can still be friends”.
Whether you can or cannot we be friends with your ex its totally up to you, but in my humble opinion friendship with exes only work when there’s a child involved. So it’s ethical to stay friends.
Other than that is just a big no-no.
Get rid of the objects that reminds you of them
Do you know that pretty picture of you both? Delete it.
And what pretty stuffed animal that he got for you? Donate it.
Yes, I know. It does sounds a bit harsh. But remember, you are doing this for the sake your yourself.
Besides, you don’t want to live in the past, right? So you must make a sacrifice some of the physical memories of you both. Just opening the room for another person to show up, you know?
But if you absolutely don’t want to throw things away, you can simply put them in a box and keep it there until you are 100% over your breakup. Then you can open the box again without any hard feelings.
Keep yourself busy to get over a breakup
If you are your ex used to be together all the time, you might feel a little lost without knowing much what to do with your free time once you aren’t together anymore.
In situations like this, the best is to plan your day/week ahead and fill all the free time with things that you like doing.
Like for example, if you like painting, take painting classes. Do you like yoga? Start practicing yoga then and look after yourself.
Because the more you start to do these things (even if you don’t feel like doing them) you start to send signals to your brain that life goes on and you are ready to live a new chapter. Which is really good for your and for your mental health.
Start working out and get in shape
You should strongly consider working out after a breakup. Not only because you will get in shape but because exercise actually plays a huge part in regulating your mood and and lower rates of depression.
This is because when your exercise your body releases chemicals called endorphin. And these endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain.
So when you exercise, you are automatically are healing your body and your mind. And of course, getting sexy as a bonus.
You might feel the urge to call them at the middle of the night just to talk.
Don’t do it. It’s not worth it.
It’s only gonna make your healing process slow. Meaning, it’s not gonna help you get over your breakup if you keep giving you little excuses to call them just to “talk”.
Besides, if you do end up calling them to have a cup of coffee and things like that, chances are that you are going to come across as someone needy. Which is definitely not the type of message you want to give.
One of the affirmations that has been proven effective to me lately is this one: “I don’t chase. I attract. What belongs to me will simply find me”.
It is simple, but extremely effective and powerful. I suggest you write it down on a piece of paper so you don’t forget about it.
Wasted years? Hell no!
Some people often say: “Ah, I spent over five years with Jake and now we broke up. Such wasted of time!”
Like, do you really think so? What type of things have you learned during all your relationship? Have you grown as a person? Have you had any good moments and memories?
So, it’s not wasted.
Everything is an experience. You might as well choose to see the positive side of things and learn with the experience you just had.
So the next relationship that you are going to have, it’s gonna be way better than the last one.
Lesson learned.
Forgive and forget
It takes maturity for you to forgive someone who has hurt you. But keep your heart full of bitterness is not good for you to get over your breakup and move over with your life.
If you ended your last relationship on bad terms, the best you can do is to go through a healing process and forgive them and specially you.